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literature
Just Friends...With Benefits
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Literature Text
Don't worry…
No, I promise I am okay.
I just wish,
That some things could have gone a little differently…
That you could have actually loved me,
Or at least pretended to.
So in a way I wouldn't hurt as bad,
For being used.
But what do I expect,
From someone, like you.
Who just wants a girl,
That they can screw.
But don't worry,
I promise, that I will be okay.
That in time, the sting of all of this.
Will fade away…
By then the tears, that I had cried,
When you where not around.
Will be all dried up,
And not a drop of agony, will be found.
It will all be gone…
And I will go for another round,
Of watching my heart,
Being stomped into the ground.
After you have gone,
And I once again pick it up…
I will swear what we had just did,
Was nothing more than an action lust…
But don't worry,
I promise that I will be okay.
Because by the time you read this,
My feeling for you, will be fading away.
And it won't hurt me,
The next time that I hear your call.
For you will not have a hold,
On my heart.
And I won't cry, when it is through.
But, I will smile when you leave,
Because I will know,
That you no longer, will have a hold on me.
See? I told you not to worry,
That I would be able to mend,
And that I could handle,
Being just a friend with benefits.
No, I promise I am okay.
I just wish,
That some things could have gone a little differently…
That you could have actually loved me,
Or at least pretended to.
So in a way I wouldn't hurt as bad,
For being used.
But what do I expect,
From someone, like you.
Who just wants a girl,
That they can screw.
But don't worry,
I promise, that I will be okay.
That in time, the sting of all of this.
Will fade away…
By then the tears, that I had cried,
When you where not around.
Will be all dried up,
And not a drop of agony, will be found.
It will all be gone…
And I will go for another round,
Of watching my heart,
Being stomped into the ground.
After you have gone,
And I once again pick it up…
I will swear what we had just did,
Was nothing more than an action lust…
But don't worry,
I promise that I will be okay.
Because by the time you read this,
My feeling for you, will be fading away.
And it won't hurt me,
The next time that I hear your call.
For you will not have a hold,
On my heart.
And I won't cry, when it is through.
But, I will smile when you leave,
Because I will know,
That you no longer, will have a hold on me.
See? I told you not to worry,
That I would be able to mend,
And that I could handle,
Being just a friend with benefits.
![[GIFT]: Sanctuary](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/e2d360b2-c393-47ad-9a7b-37df76816e07/de6xkyr-8d02b7d3-dc12-4869-8b2e-6fae61ca5409.jpg/v1/crop/w_184,h_184,x_2,y_0,scl_0.083522469359964,q_70,strp/_gift___sanctuary_by_giiana_de6xkyr-92s-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODYxIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvZTJkMzYwYjItYzM5My00N2FkLTlhN2ItMzdkZjc2ODE2ZTA3XC9kZTZ4a3lyLThkMDJiN2QzLWRjMTItNDg2OS04YjJlLTZmYWU2MWNhNTQwOS5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9OTAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.Z_99Hxl9yaUVO3s4c1Z0FhqzVHJGmLcEJNsy-WDheEc)
![[GIFT]: Sanctuary](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/e2d360b2-c393-47ad-9a7b-37df76816e07/de6xkyr-8d02b7d3-dc12-4869-8b2e-6fae61ca5409.jpg/v1/crop/w_92,h_92,x_1,y_0,scl_0.041761234679982,q_70,strp/_gift___sanctuary_by_giiana_de6xkyr-92s.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODYxIiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvZTJkMzYwYjItYzM5My00N2FkLTlhN2ItMzdkZjc2ODE2ZTA3XC9kZTZ4a3lyLThkMDJiN2QzLWRjMTItNDg2OS04YjJlLTZmYWU2MWNhNTQwOS5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9OTAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.Z_99Hxl9yaUVO3s4c1Z0FhqzVHJGmLcEJNsy-WDheEc)
Is that all we should be
you never said that you loved me
but hey thats all in the past
because even if we where lovers
it would never last...
you never said that you loved me
but hey thats all in the past
because even if we where lovers
it would never last...
© 2011 - 2024 Tsuki-Tai
Comments3
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This is a critique from 
Overall, I think that the idea of a poem regarding friends-with-benefits relationships, but this seemed a bit too... Cliched? And not a poetic as it perhaps could be. Hopefully that isn't too harsh, because I do think this shows potential.
Some advice I'd give to you, for this poem, and in general, is to be sure to pay attention to things like grammar, rhythm, and rhyme. All three of those aspects in this poem unfortunately fall a bit short; for example, you used a lot of ellipses("...") and commas that weren't necessary and broke up the rhythm and flow, at least for me. Another thing I noticed is that the rhyming and rhythm are rather inconsistent, so that only some stanzas rhyme, and in almost all, the rhythm seemed a bit stunted. You can fix the rhythm by being more picky with your word choices, which can also help increase imagery and make the poem more engaging for the reader.
Overall, I think the main problem–and it is one that can be solved– is that the poem simply isn't very poetic; the language is rather plain and unfortunately not too effective...
I actually have a lot to say about this, and if you would like, please do reply with questions/comments regarding things you'd like help with, because I think there is potential here. If not, hopefully you've at least gotten something out of this comment.
Overall, I think that the idea of a poem regarding friends-with-benefits relationships, but this seemed a bit too... Cliched? And not a poetic as it perhaps could be. Hopefully that isn't too harsh, because I do think this shows potential.
Some advice I'd give to you, for this poem, and in general, is to be sure to pay attention to things like grammar, rhythm, and rhyme. All three of those aspects in this poem unfortunately fall a bit short; for example, you used a lot of ellipses("...") and commas that weren't necessary and broke up the rhythm and flow, at least for me. Another thing I noticed is that the rhyming and rhythm are rather inconsistent, so that only some stanzas rhyme, and in almost all, the rhythm seemed a bit stunted. You can fix the rhythm by being more picky with your word choices, which can also help increase imagery and make the poem more engaging for the reader.
Overall, I think the main problem–and it is one that can be solved– is that the poem simply isn't very poetic; the language is rather plain and unfortunately not too effective...
I actually have a lot to say about this, and if you would like, please do reply with questions/comments regarding things you'd like help with, because I think there is potential here. If not, hopefully you've at least gotten something out of this comment.